My Hair Journey

Take a second and think back to when you were little. Sitting between your mom’s legs crying or breaking your neck over the sink, or of course our favorite, overreacting to getting gallons of water splashed over our face by “accident”. For most of us, that's when our journeys began, whether we realize it or not. But, don't forget every curly girl has a different story. This one is mine.

I got my hair relaxed religiously every two months, only the roots of course. I would sit in my little pink chair in the bathroom, with my grown fifteen-year-old body, with the stench of chemicals lingering in the air, and me “helping” my mom by mixing the cream relaxer and the “green liquid stuff” with the wooden stick. Preaching, I would sit there and talk about how horrible my life would have been without relaxers. Little did I know what goddess's hair was sitting right beneath my scalp ready to flourish.

Disclaimer: I'm not saying that having natural hair is the only way to live or you should change your ideals based on what I'm writing, I'm just saying natural hair was my route in life. Never change for others, only for yourself.

Now I'm not going to sit here and lie, having a fresh relaxer was the best! I would stand in front of the mirror with my length down my back, hands though my hair flipping it side to side like I just got my hair straightened. Applying products… easy. Detangling… easy. Length… long. Non- relaxer's are probably thinking: then what’s wrong? Well, when having relaxed hair you gain some and you lose some...

Relaxed hair: you gain the chance to not have shrinkage (more length), hair texture is loose (less detangling) BUT you lose the chance too, have more curl pattern, have the maximum amount of hair health, and volume.

The first time I started to watch hair related youtube videos I watch Shameless Maya's Curly Hair Routine, she had used four products from the Shea Moisture's Raw Shea Butter line. I repeatedly and intensity watch her video over and over again, wishing my hair could be like hers. I fell in love with her hair texture and how freakin bouncy it was.

Note: I'm pretty sure many of us have gone through the jealous phase. Seeing other curly girls hair and being upset about the fact that your hair is not similar to theirs. Whether if its the texture, length, definition, or even porosity of their hair. I'm here to say… It's okay to feel like this! Don't worry somewhere down the line this feeling with go away and you will sit there and say: “shit I love my hair”. It just takes time. (this applies to anyones hair relaxed or not it doesn't matter!)

Back to the story…

I stupidly took myself and my money to Walgreens and purchased the same products Maya used… thinking I would have the same results she did.

Note: even if you use the same products and routine as someone else, that doesn't mean you'll get the same results. Everyone's hair is different.

I came home and ran to the bathroom so excited to lather on all these products and get these perfect curls. I got out of the shower and applied all the curling products using the same techniques. Scrunching as harddddd as I could to help my curls get its form. And well relaxer users probably know where this story is going… it was a mess. Sis, my hair was so stingy and weighted down. Keep in mind everyone's relaxed hair is different, but my relaxed hair couldn't hold much curl pattern, it was thin, so it got weighed down easily, and it just looked like hard angel hair pasta whenever I tried to curl it.

Future me thinking: Why did I think that my hair would have voluminous bouncy curls when I was chemically straightening my hair?

Five years later… literally

I transitioned not once...not twice… but three goddam times before finally fully transitioning to natural hair. Though it took me so long, I'm glad it did because it taught me so much. You're going to make so many mistakes while going on your hair journey and honestly at a point, it's going to feel like you will never figure it out. You're going to feel like you want to give up. You're going to question yourself and think “is this really worth it?” Remember, going natural takes years but reverting back to relaxed hair takes five minutes. If you really want to go back, the option is always there. So isn't it worth It to just give natural hair a chance? I took the relaxed option three times and the third changed my life. Point is you’re probably not going to figure everything out all at once this shit takes time. But in the end, it will be so goddam worth it!

Age Timeline:

1st attempt: 16 relaxed years old

Natural: 19 curly years old

This blog is really just a snippet of my journey, there is so much more to talk about and I want to share it all with you. I want this place to be somewhere all curly-headed cuties could share their stories, tips, routines, products, advice… basically EVERYTHING. I hope you guys enjoy this page! Love u.

"I could chronicle my journey of self-love and self-acceptance though my journey with my hair" - Tracee Ellis Ross

Watch this video if you are still debating about your hair journey: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SDk4VmX4Wc

MY GOAL: spread love.

xoxo whynotgonatural